but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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