Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
