When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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