where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize