So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
