So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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