I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
