I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I stole a fireplace last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
