Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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