Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
