did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
