By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
