Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I would ride that face into the sunset
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
