I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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