What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
