Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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