just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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