I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize
