i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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