Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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