she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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