ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
