The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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