i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
