I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
