the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
