she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
