If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love having hate sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize