smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
