i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
