I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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