I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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