ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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