this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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