Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize