You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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