see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
