its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
