i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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