no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
