Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was born a porn star she said
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
