did you get engaged???
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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