He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize