I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
