Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There's even glitter on my cock...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
