New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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