So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
