I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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