is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
