he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
