She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
