i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
