Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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