I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
