Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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