im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
