working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize