we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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