i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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