Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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