did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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