You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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