that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
