Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
