If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize